It has always been my dream to visit Thailand, the sex capital of the world. When my brother asked me to join him there I didn’t hesitate to take him up on it. He is a reprobate, so I was sure we would be in for some good fun. Little did I know that I was going to have to fuck my way out of a fine, but it wasn’t all bad.

Just strolling through the streets one night, my brother wanted to go into a brothel. I just wanted to site at a quiet bar and watch the world go by. So we separated and went our own way. My brother likes to pay for sex, he says if they don’t do it right you can make they do it all over again, until they do, do it right.

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I found a bar, had a drink and went outside to smoke. There was a Thai policeman across the road watching me and I waved a greeting. But why was he watching me so? I realized that it must be because he liked what he saw and he wasn’t bad to look at either.

Glanced exchanges went back and forth across the street, there was a bit of chemistry here, but sadly my cigarette was finished, so I killed it on the pavement and went to go back inside the bar. Then I felt someone gently take the inside of my arm and I turned around.

Thinking I was about to be mugged I turned around fast to swipe my would-be mugger with my handbag, and just in time, saw it was the policeman. "Maa’m, please accompany me to the police vehicle." What the heck was going on?

I asked him what the problem was and he said he had to fine me for dropping my cigarette butt on the pavement. "Why?" I asked, and he explained to me that this was against the law, and a 0 (US) fine applied.

He responded that breaking the law by littering was a serious offence, I glanced about me at the clean streets and damned my filthy smoking habit. So I asked how I could get off the fine, he just came right out and said he fancied me, so I said let’s go.

So this was how I found myself in a police car, fucking with a Thai cop, illegally on Phuket Beach, and actually having a really good time. Hell this was worth every cent of the 0, and I now wouldn’t have to pay it. In fact the whole thing went down so well that he asked me out the next night.

You know, I couldn’t believe it, this was the first time I had ever fucked my way out of a fine, and he was so polite about it, but he could have been an axe murderer for all I knew. He drove me back to the bar and asked me if he could see me again the next day, so I agreed and we are still great friend - what a way to meet people??

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